We're so hip, it's starting to hurt!

And if you can master the falafels, it really doesn't get much easier than this.
| Preparation: 15 minutes | Serves: 8 crumpets | 
| Cooking: 10 minutes | Unbuttered crumpets | 
| Ingredients | Quantity (metric) | Quantity (imperial) | 
|---|---|---|
| Packet of falafel mix | 150g | 5.25 oz | 
| Cold water | 170 ml | 6 floz | 
| Vegetable oil | 750ml | 26 floz | 
| Iceberg lettuce (shredded, core removed) | 1 | 1 | 
| Large cucumber (cored and sliced) | 1/2 | 1/2 | 
| Cherry tomatoes (halved) | 20 | 20 | 
| Coriander leaves (finely chopped) | 30g | 1 oz | 
| Pickled chillis (finely chopped) | 5 tbsp | 5 tbsp | 
| Tahini paste | 5 tbsp | 5 tbsp | 
| Water | 125ml | 4.4 floz | 
| Lemon juice | 1/2 lemon | 1/2 lemon | 
| Garlic cloves (peeled and put through a garlic press) | 4 | 4 | 
| Salt and pepper | More than you might | at first imagine |